“People don’t change.”
I said this to an Ex of mine.
And It very well may be something that I stand beside, until the day I die.
It may sound pessimistic, but it's so much deeper than gloomy perspectives. I know you may be thinking that's not true. You may have witnessed someone undergo a transformation, or even changed a little yourself. That's all fine and dandy, and I get it. Really, I do. But hear me out.
I speak from experience.
I know how hard change is. I’ve sat with the dark parts people refuse to look at—the monsters that loom over our shoulders. I faced them, fought them, and came back with deeper wounds from when I started.
Some battles are lost before they even begin.
The problem was trying to take up arms against them in the first place.
We try to fight the parts of ourselves that are deeply rooted in us. We try to grab them, crumble them up, and toss them away like a piece of paper. But you can’t toss out what is a part of you. And by trying to do so, you end up hurting yourself more than if you had simply let them be and accepted them.
Imagine trying to rip out your flesh, your organs, your bones. It sounds insane—because it is. You’re literally made up of those things. To remove them would mean, death.
The same rule applies to your insecurities. Whether it’s your weight, your height, or your appearance, they’re a part of you. They aren’t foreign invaders—they make up the composition of your soul. And as much as you may hate them, they are there to serve as your teachers.
I’ve tried to change myself a few times, and in many ways I succeeded. But it never felt that way. I still felt inadequate on the inside, and as a result, I reverted back to my old ways.
I realized it’s because the entire time I was “evolving,” I was at war with older versions of myself—like I had to rid my body and mind of their existence. That’s where I messed up. And that’s why I get irritated when I see people on social media saying things like, “the old version of me is dead,” because no it isn't, and if you truly believe that, you're in for a rude awakening.